Luciano Battagliero

Welcome to the Internet

Welcome to the internet, have a look around Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found We've got mountains of content, some better, some worse If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first Welcome to the internet, come and take a seat Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet? There's no need to panic, this isn't a test, haha Just nod or shake your head, and we'll do the rest Welcome to thе internet, what would you prefеr? Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur? Be happy, be horny, be bursting with rage We've got a million different ways to engage Welcome to the internet, put your cares aside Here's a tip for straining pasta, here's a nine-year-old who died We've got movies and doctors and fantasy sports And a bunch of colored-pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other Welcome to the internet, hold on to your socks 'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock They are grainy and off-putting, he just sent you more Don't act surprised, you know you like it, you whore See a man beheaded, get offended, see a shrink Show us pictures of your children, tell us every thought you think Start a rumor, buy a broom, or send a death threat to a boomer Or DM a girl and groom her, do a Zoom or find a tumor in your— Here's a healthy breakfast option, you should kill your mom Here's why women never fuck you, here's how you can build a bomb Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids Could I interest you in everything all of the time? A little bit of everything all of the time? Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime Anything and everything, all of the time Could I interest you in everything all of the time? A little bit of everything all of the time? Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime Anything and everything, all of the time You know, it wasn't always like this Not very long ago, just before your time Right before the towers fell, circa '99 This was catalogs, travel blogs, a chatroom or two We set our sights and spent our nights waiting For you, you, insatiable you Mommy let you use her iPad, you were barely two And it did all the things we designed it to do Now, look at you, oh, ha, look at you You, you, unstoppable, watchable Your time is now, your inside's out, honey, how you grew And if we stick together, who knows what we'll do? It was always the plan to put the world in your hand
3D animated dancing monkey.Screenshot of Dukem's First Homepage on GeoCities, viewed in Netscape Navigator. Cloud background with Itchy & Scratchy toolbar.Spinning red star.Classic internet meme of an elderly person photoshopped onto a surfboard with the text 'Welcome to the Internet, I'll be your guide'.Screenshot of Papa Bob's Place on GeoCities, viewed in Internet Explorer. Red background with a portrait photo.Dancing baby, the classic 90s internet animation.Green Matrix-style visitor counter reading 000192105.Animated green arrow pointing right.Screenshot of Mystical Realm on GeoCities with a psychedelic tiled background.Spinning red 3D car.90s illustration of a kid surfing on a keyboard over a globe while holding a mouse, surrounded by other kids. From a vintage internet guidebook.Screenshot of Doom Level Design with DEU5 on GeoCities, viewed in Netscape Navigator. Dark stone texture background.3D animated unicorn.Spinning 3D @ symbol.Screenshot of Cheater Cheat on GeoCities, viewed in Internet Explorer. Dark background with teal text and MP3 ads.Animated blue arrow pointing right.